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Oyster Archive

Colorado Republicans Outraged as GOP Ad Omits Bald Eagle and U.S. Flag

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May 12, 2021

Blucifer Announces He Now Identifies as a “Nice Horsie”

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May 4, 2021

PEPTO BISMOL ANNOUNCES LAYOFFS DUE TO END OF CASA BONITA

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April 22, 2021

Strip Club Turned Daycare in Awkward Transition

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April 15, 2021

Denver Dog Mom Regrets Voting for Wolf Reintroduction

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April 5, 2021

Governor Polis Wins Meat Marketer of the Year Award

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March 25, 2021

DIA Great Hall Construction Delayed After Aliens Demand 10PM Curfew

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March 18, 2021

Area Middle School Laptop Costs Up 7200% Since Introduction of Zoom Dodgeball

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March 12, 2021

Confusion Over Drag Race at Bandimere Speedway

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March 5, 2021

Governor Polis Creates “Safety Squad” to Enforce Remaining COVID Restrictions

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February 23, 2021

Tay Anderson Recovering From Hate Crime Involving “Uniformed Jackbooted Girl Scouts”

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February 12, 2021

Aurora Mayor Spending Week in Mansion to Better Grasp Plight of the One Percent

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February 9, 2021

Google Maps Update Introduces New “Show Republicans” Feature to Protect Users’ Feelings

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January 29, 2021

Biden Wastes No Time Settling Into Oval Office

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January 20, 2021

Governor Polis Launches Bold Signage Plan to Crack Down on Riots

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January 15, 2021

NBA Owners Successfully Convince Players to Stand for National Anthem

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January 7, 2021

83-Year-Old ‘Confused as Hell’ During Mandatory Inclusiveness Training

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January 3, 2021

Toddler Blames Dominion Voting Systems for Crappy Christmas Presents

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December 28, 2020

Santa Claus Finds Himself in Crosshairs of Environmental Activists

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December 23, 2020

Mayor Hancock Issues Pre-Apology for His Upcoming Christmas Travel

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December 20, 2020
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