Firebombing Fallout: Boulder Adopts “Common Sense” Safety Rules for Future Attacks
Boulder City Manager Nuria Rivera-Vandermyde explained, “This important step ensures safety for the Boulder’s Jewish community while balancing the first-amendment rights of undocumented immigrants who wish to protest Zionism by setting them on fire.”
Denver Dog Mom Regrets Voting for Wolf Reintroduction
Self-proclaimed “Dog Mom,” Ashley Miller, says she made a big mistake by voting for the reintroduction of wolves into Colorado.
Governor Polis Creates “Safety Squad” to Enforce Remaining COVID Restrictions
“Now is not the time to let up,” Polis implored in his announcement. “My newly formed Safety Squad—called the “SS” for short—will keep tabs on who you’re with, where you go, and what you do, in the name of public health, of course.”
Governor Polis Launches Bold Signage Plan to Crack Down on Riots
“It’s time we make the message clear to would-be rioters that we simply will not tolerate it,” Polis said as he introduced his plan on Wednesday. “And what makes that message clearer than ‘Riot Free Zone’ signs?”
U.S. Bureau of Land Management Head Thrilled to See #BLM Campaign Taking Off
Like many government entities. the U.S. Department of the Interior’s Bureau of Land Management has struggled to keep the brand fresh and exciting throughout the years…
Starting Wildfire to Make Sunsets Prettier Was Shortsighted, Admits Fort Collins Mayor
As Council member Mindy Fallon explained, “At our last meeting, we all agreed that we could really use some deeper hues in our sunsets over the foothills. We believed a little added smoke might our citizens the rich reddish-orange tones they deserve.”