Colorado’s leader in misinformation

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THIS WEEK'S PEARLS OF WISDOM

Colfax Restaurants Rebrand as “Trauma Recovery Centers” as BRT Construction Turns Street Into Post-Apocalyptic Mindfulness Corridor
Business

Colfax Restaurants Rebrand as “Trauma Recovery Centers” as BRT Construction Turns Street Into Post-Apocalyptic Mindfulness Corridor

DENVER, CO — After months of relentless Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) construction transforming East Colfax into what one Yelp reviewer called “Fallujah, but with fewer parking spots,” local restaurants have abandoned the concept of food entirely and are now marketing themselves as “Trauma-Informed Healing Sanctuaries.”

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Trump Announces Pikes Peak Moving from Colorado to Nebraska
Government

Trump Announces Pikes Peak Moving from Colorado to Nebraska

WASHINGTON (AP) — In an utterly historic—and completely plausible—announcement that has geologists flabbergasted and Nebraskans scratching their heads, former President Trump declared today that Pikes Peak will be physically relocated from Colorado to Nebraska. “Why leave such a Big Beautiful Mountain in that Rocky Mountain hellhole,” he asked, “when Nebraska could use a tourism boost?”

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ABOUT THE OYSTER

The Rocky Mountain Oyster is Colorado’s most fact-checked news source. It was founded in 1859 by licorice magnate P.J. Hornbuckle Jr. and quickly became the newspaper of record for the Rocky Mountain West.

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