WASHINGTON D.C.—Like many government entities. the U.S. Department of the Interior’s Bureau of Land Management has struggled to keep the brand fresh and exciting throughout the years.
“Everybody’s always telling me we need to do more Tweeters and to Instapot this and that, so I told our guys to make it happen,” shared Deputy Director of Programs and Policy, David Alan Humbert. “I don’t know how any of that mumbo jumbo works, but we must be doing something right. I’ve been seeing our doggone initials everywhere. Hell, someone even spray-painted BLM on my front door.”
Humbert didn’t want to stop there. “I don’t claim to be a marketing genius, but I told our folks we need to organize some marches, you know, get some people out there chanting about BLM and whatnot. Next thing you know, we’re all over the news.”
So excited was he about the results, Humbert gave the entire Bureau marketing team generous bonuses. “I know we’re over-budgeted, but I was happy to reward ‘em. What’s most important to me is that no one can accuse us here at the BLM of being old or out of touch,” said the 75-year-old Harvey, North Dakota native.
As of press time, no employees of the Bureau of Land Management’s marketing team responded to our requests for comment.