COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — In a surprise Juneteenth announcement sure to raise eyebrows, Colorado Springs Mayor Yemi Mobolade declared that Interstate 25 will be renamed “Jussie Smollett Highway,” in honor of “the brave pioneers of performative racial hoaxes.”
“Game respects game,” said Mobolade when asked why he pushed for the highway renaming after the actor, who was convicted in staging a fake crime in 2019. Smollett claimed he was attacked by racists in Chicago, although police later found he paid two work acquaintances to stage the attack.
“Juneteenth is about liberation,” Mobolade said, flanked by wide-eyed city council members and a confused Department of Transportation official. “And who embodied liberation from truth better than Jussie Smollett? His dedication to creative storytelling in the face of reality is an inspiration.”
Critics were quick to point out the mayor’s own colorful past. Inconveniently for Mobolade, two former supporters were just convicted for orchestrating a fake racist incident during his 2023 campaign — an incident the FBI says Mobolade lied about but the DOJ declined to prosecute, citing “too much paperwork” and “a general distaste for awkward headlines.”
Mobolade supporters Ashley Blackcloud and Derrick Bernard were both found guilty of staging a cross burning in April 2023 to aide Mobolade’s candidacy. During the trial, Bendard took the stand and claimed then candidate Mobolade was behind the plan.
“This renaming is absolutely not connected to my campaign’s own completely unrelated and totally legitimate hate crime incident,” Mobolade clarified, while unveiling a new bronze statue of Smollett clutching a Subway sandwich and a noose. “This is about sending a message. A confusing, gaslighty message.”
Plans for the renamed highway include frequent rest stops labeled “BelievHER,” “Victimhood Vista,” and “Accountability-Free Zone.” City officials say they’ll install emergency call boxes for reporting fake hate crimes and provide complimentary bleach bottles at mile markers.
Reaction was mixed. Local activist groups applauded the move for “amplifying marginalized fiction,” while others asked if it was a late April Fool’s joke.
As for drivers? Many say they’re just trying to avoid potholes, not ideological sinkholes.
Still, Mayor Mobolade remains defiant: “I-25 has always taken people places. Now, it takes them into the thrilling world of made-up oppression.”
