State Can’t Fill Potholes, But Will Expand Telluride Film Festival Subsidy For Documentary About Potholes
DENVER, CO—Admitting that “hard infrastructure is complicated,” Colorado state officials announced Monday that while they remain unable to fill the rapidly multiplying potholes across state highways, they have successfully expanded a multimillion-dollar subsidy for a Telluride Film Festival documentary exploring the deeper meaning of potholes.
Colfax Restaurants Rebrand as “Trauma Recovery Centers” as BRT Construction Turns Street Into Post-Apocalyptic Mindfulness Corridor
DENVER, CO — After months of relentless Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) construction transforming East Colfax into what one Yelp reviewer called “Fallujah, but with fewer parking spots,” local restaurants have abandoned the concept of food entirely and are now marketing themselves as “Trauma-Informed Healing Sanctuaries.”
Juneteenth Surprise: CO Springs Mayor Announces I-25 to Be Renamed “Jussie Smollett Highway”
In a surprise Juneteenth announcement sure to raise eyebrows, Colorado Springs Mayor Yemi Mobolade declared that Interstate 25 will be renamed “Jussie Smollett Highway,” in honor of “the brave pioneers of performative racial hoaxes.”
Tesla Announces Addition of New Color — “White Privilege” — to 2026 Line of Electric Vehicles
In a bold and brave marketing move that no one asked for, Tesla announced today that its 2026 electric vehicle lineup will include a brand-new premium color option: White Privilege.
DIA Great Hall Construction Delayed After Aliens Demand 10PM Curfew
Construction at DIA has been delayed once again, this time as a result of a 10PM noise restriction demanded by the aliens living in the tunnels below.