Victor Marx proves he’s an outsider by running the same campaign finance scandal as everyone else.
Boulder homeless advocacy group concerned high vacancy rate reducing availability of Amazon boxes to steal
DPS adds Narcan to school supplies list
Colorado Democrats excited about permanent Daylight Savings Time; more daylight hours to tax the crap out of us
Xcel Energy PR team now referring to power outages as “Grids experiencing powerlessness”
Job applicant for Colorado Democratic Party comms department highlights his awesome prompt-writing skills
President Trump Admits His Orange Coloration is Due to His Support of the Denver Broncos
In a recent speech to the United Nations, President Trump explained that his odd coloration is a result of his love for the Denver Broncos. Mr. Trump said, “You look at that orange, you think of toughness. You think of champions. Just amazing people. Amazing energy. Total winners. Believe me.”
Denver Purchases AI-Controlled Toilet Paper Dispensers
As part of his statewide green initiative, Colorado Governor Jared Polis has mandated all restrooms be retrofitted with portion-controlling toilet-paper dispensers.
Governor Polis Wins Meat Marketer of the Year Award
In a strange twist, Polis’ nomination came as a result of him proclaiming March 20 a ‘MeatOut Day.’ Backlash from the declaration shot sales of beef, pork, veal, lamb, rabbit, kangaroo, bison, ostrich, antelope, frog, elk, llama, alligator, turtle, and yak to all-time highs.
DIA Great Hall Construction Delayed After Aliens Demand 10PM Curfew
Construction at DIA has been delayed once again, this time as a result of a 10PM noise restriction demanded by the aliens living in the tunnels below.