Colorado’s leader in misinformation

Wolf “Drop Zone” Miles Off Target, Sends Terror Through Colorado Town

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CRAIG, CO—A pleasant November afternoon at Woodbury Park took a rapid turn after a pack of gray wolves literally descended on the festivities. After landing and quickly chewing through their parachute lines, the pack rapidly organized, surrounding three adults and four children near the monkey bars.

“When I first saw the plane and the parachutes, we thought maybe it was a surprise Veterans Day practice thing,” said local resident Donna Wallford. “It wasn’t until my daughter pointed to the sky and yelled ‘Doggies!’ that we realized what was happening.”

This tragic event is apparently the result of a misstep by Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) who was charged with introducing wolves into Western Colorado after voters approved Proposition 114.

A spokesperson for CPW indicated that the flight crew apparently got confused by the instructions. “They was supposed to drop the wolves near Creede in the Rio Grande National Forest, but someone thought they heard Craig.”

While there were several serious injuries reported, fortunately there were no human fatalities. Most of the wolves, however, were killed as law enforcement fought to control the situation. Tragically, while caught up in the melee, officers inadvertently shot Rocky, a four-year old German Shepherd mix.

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